Can I fix my own phone addiction?

When I was a kid, I read books all the time. I didn’t watch TV or play video games or practice sports or an instrument. Instead, mastered the art of walking around with my face in a book while avoiding obstacles. I won every reading challenge in school. I snuck out of bed to read by the glow of the nightlight.

I can’t remember exactly when it stopped, but by the time I was a senior in high school, I didn’t read very many books anymore. I had discovered Tumblr. Reading posts and writing my own and watching my follower count grow made me feel something new, something exciting. It felt addictive. Suddenly, all my free time—and even time that wasn’t free, like when I was in class—was occupied. Instead of flipping pages, I was scrolling.

Ten years later, I’ve been scrolling and posting for a decade. It did not ruin my life. To the contrary, it created one. The scrolling and posting turned into a career and an expertise. It led to friendships and love. Most people still say that being online and in real life are different things, but for me, the former brought me the latter.

And yet, it’s complicated. I don’t read books like I did when I was a kid, and that makes me sad. I find it hard, because the urge to scroll and post instead is compulsive. This whole time, I’ve tried (and failed) to balance my relationship with technology and social media—more offline, less online.

This summer, I embarked on a new project to scroll and post less. I tried reading more. I tried a device that is intended to force me to stop. And I tried one thing by accident that actually kind of worked.

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